Wednesday, 10 February 2016

P

Wednesday, 10 February 2016 01:13
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So I ended up in the wheelchair from about 11am to 7pm -- probably the longest stretch in forever, certainly this hospital stay. Normally I've taken a nap after lunch and gotten up for dinner. But the care conference was at 2:30 and lasted to about 4, then Mrs. Dr. Phil and I talked for a bit.

Which brings us to the amusement of peeing. Gentler readers may choose to avert their eyes and leave now.

Some time ago we did a proof of concept test that indicated I could get up from the wheelchair and sit at the edge of the bed and fit a hand urinal under there. Tuesday would be the functional test.

Everything went according to plan, except I couldn't pee! The pressure was there, just no release.

It finally occurred to me that perhaps there was a reason that toilet seats have holes. That perhaps pressure of sitting underneath was constricting the prostate or some other damned body part.

Plan B was to try to stand at the walker. Alas, with my stomach, this proved difficult and so we abandoned the effort. TMI -- I haven't peed standing up in years.

So I had to lie back on the bed and do it horizontally, some 550 mL. Ah, relief...

But this is a disappointment.

Truly it points to being crutch ready in order to be able to go home. For even if I have a prosthetic, it isn't likely to be in place in the middle of the night.

Onward!

Dr. Phil

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