(From Eric, who seemingly cannot use OpenID from the office....)

Three-hundred vuvuzelas for the Elven team when their sweeper slides
Seven-hundred for the Dwarf-team when opponents throw-in
Nine-hundred for Mortal Men when the striker drives
One thousand for the Dark Lord when his team's about to win
In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie
A thousand vuvuzelas a goal, a thousand vuvuzelas a foul
A thousand vuvuzelas raised and buzzing so loud
In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.

(With sincere and abased apologies to Professor Tolkien and his descendants to the seventh generation.)