Well Isn't This Healthy

[dr_phil_physics]

The Latest Big Food Outrage... In West Michigan!

The West Michigan Whitecaps Single-A minor league baseball team has a really nice ballpark and one helluva great park management operation. Originally named Old Kent Park, when the venerable and local Old Kent Bank was snapped up by Fifth-Third Bank, the new bank couldn't leave well enough alone and had the name changed to Fifth-Third, despite there already being another Fifth-Third park in the Midwest League.

Now they've always done great food. One tasty treat is the Loaded Pig Swimming -- a BBQ pork chop sandwich which Mrs. Dr. Phil and I usually split, rather than trying to choke them down by ourselves. But their new item...

Behold The Fifth-Third Burger



The stats: Five one-third pound patties (Fifth-Third, get it?), "with lettuce, tomato, salsa, sour cream, chili and Fritos on an eight-inch sesame seed bun" and is intended to serve four for twenty bucks. Or one person can try to eat it all in one sitting and get a T-shirt.

Need calories? Have 4889. Want some fat? We got it -- 299 grams. Sodium? 10.887 grams. No, really, not milligrams... grams. Even before the baseball season starts, this has made news -- even on CNBC. Maybe the Travel Channel's Man vs. Food guy will come here. I may be very large and fat, but I couldn't possibly consume one by myself. It'd hurt, I'd explode, I'd die.

The T-shirts don't come in my size anyway.

Dr. Phil

Comments

[jakobdrud.livejournal.com]

Yikes. I hope it comes with a doggie bag. Or doggie backpack, more like :-)

[dr-phil-physics.livejournal.com]

I would want a couple of people sitting around at one of the picnic tables with knife and fork, I think.

Dr. Phil

[jakobdrud.livejournal.com]

Heh, I agree good company would make this go down a bit easier. Besides, I shouldn't even consider dragging home this kind of food to feed the kids.

[dr-phil-physics.livejournal.com]

There was a front page story about this in the Grand Rapids Press tonight -- apparently that have a pizza cutter for breaking it into pieces for sharing. (grin)

They also claim it tastes really good.

Dr. Phil

[albogdan.livejournal.com]

I feel queezy just looking at the picture! Wow! Hmmmmm... one of those might make lunch for a family of five.

Reminds me of Tony's near Birch Run. That place still around? Giant food people bought just to laugh at how gigantic it was, even if they couldn't eat half.

[dr-phil-physics.livejournal.com]

Don't know about Tony's, but watching Food Network's Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, plus Travel Channel's Man vs. Food, it is clear that plenty of local restaurants feature massive platters of food -- and often, but not always, they are shared family style.

Dr. Phil

[wendyb-09.livejournal.com]

Um, that would feed the half-dozen homeless men I passed between the MARTA station and the office this morning.

Are they NUTZ?!?!?!

[dr-phil-physics.livejournal.com]

We all must be party poopers. I'm railing against the thought of a 5000 calorie food item with gobs of fat and salt, you're pointing out the ethical extravagence of such a food item in a country where there is still want. Other than a certain number of idiots who will try to eat the thing by themselves -- and many will suffer what the food contest eaters call a "reversal of fortune" -- maybe I should be looking on this as a fun challenge for a family to try to eat at a ballgame. I mean, consider that even a kid eating cotton candy isn't going to have a "simple" time eating it.

Or maybe not. (grin)

Dr. Phil

[wendyb-09.livejournal.com]

All of the above. Heart attack on a platter, yuck. Does not even appeal to me, probably has something to do with spending 10 summers shoveling arena food into very drunk...I mean HAPPY...concert-goers!!

I suspect some of the folks I mentioned don't get 5000 calories in a MONTH! With the police "brownouts" due to budget cuts, the panhandlers are getting aggressive again, so I notice them more. Only have one I contribute to from time to time, and he's been downtown since I lived in the neighborhood six years ago.

[ckastens.livejournal.com]

I'm not worthy!

[dr-phil-physics.livejournal.com]

See, I don't know whether to congratulate you on your excellent view of reality that you know you couldn't eat this by yourself, castigate you for being concerned that you couldn't eat this by yourself -- or tell you to go into training. (grin)

Dr. Phil

[ckastens.livejournal.com]

I think I could have made a good stab at it when I was eighteen, but that kind of training now would kill me! :)

[dr-phil-physics.livejournal.com]

At eighteen you might've thought it was a good idea.

Dr. Phil

[ckastens.livejournal.com]

I remember I once put down two footlongs, a plate of fries, and a box of Nutter Butters at one sitting. I also used to order six tacos as a "normal" meal at Taco Bell, and maybe toss in a burrito if I felt hungry.

[anothernathan.livejournal.com]

I'm sure I could have finished it when I was eighteen. And then I would have been disappointed at getting a T-shirt as a reward. Anybody who can finish one of those...wants a coupon for another one!

[dr-phil-physics.livejournal.com]

Well, if you eat two you'd get two t-shirts!

Dr. Phil