dr_phil_physics: (lifesavers-winslet)
An Oh Too Familiar Refrain

I get to the office about 8:40am for my 9am class. The message light on my phone is lit. There is just enough time to check to see what Important Message is in my voice mail box.

Alas & Sigh. The caller wanted to let Dr. Phil know that regarding the twins on heroin, that the mother should lose custody of those children.

Right. We'll get right on that. As soon as I lose my sanity and start hosting a psychology self-help television show. And do a piece on twins on heroin.

Where do these people get this telephone number from? Any place on my university website where I have the number, there's a link about that Other Dr. Phil fellow. You know, the one who knows Oprah and is rich and has a television show where they just did a piece about twins on heroin and their worthless mother?

Anyway, I'm not that guy. Don't call me and leave me a message about the TV show on my Physics Dept. phone voice mail.

And don't be one of those hit-and-run cowards who goes to all the trouble to dig through the Internet to find The Secret Actual Phone Number for Dr. Phil, expresses Extreme Disapproval -- and then doesn't bother to give a name. (evil grin)

Dr. Phil
dr_phil_physics: (lifesavers-winslet)
Sigh

I've written about this before, but it happens enough in letters and phone messages, that it bears repeating. I am NOT the Dr. Phil on TV.

I was last in my office on Monday 23 August 2010 and now it's September 1st. Mostly students either don't try to contact me or they use email, so I sometimes forget to check my voicemail while I'm away from the office for a week or ten days. So I get in today and the message light is on and the phone's display says there are two messages. The first was a reminder for something that already happened, no problems there. The second one, though. Sigh.

The Long Ramble Of Paula F.

Paula just wanted to leave me a message about "the show today" and the girl with the eating disorder. Paula wanted me to know that this is a real problem. She then rambled on about some girl she knew. In addition, she had read an "awesome book", for which she provided a proper citation and a page reference to a particular part which she quoted. Finally, she was glad of this opportunity to set the record straight, etc.

(I had to listen to the whole thing, since the voicemail system won't accept the delete command until the message is over -- or else there is a STOP command which I don't know about.)

First, the voicemail system doesn't give you a time stamp, so I don't know which show was "the show today". Second of all, you didn't leave a phone number or email, so not only will no one from the show ever contact you, I won't be able to either and direct you to the right place. Third of all, I am NOT the Dr. Phil on television and never have been. And anywhere you would've gotten my office phone number would have told you that!

Somewhere In North America

Probably in the South, given the ac-cent, there is a nice middle-aged woman feeling smug in the knowledge that she has set the Dr. Phil Show straight and given him/them important information. Too bad her research skills don't go beyond book citations and page references and grabbing phone numbers off the web, to include actually finding the right phone number for that Other Dr. Phil who is on television.

Remember the spotting features -- this Dr. Phil has hair, both on the top of his head and all over his face. And if the web page you've found says that This Is Not The Dr. Phil On Television and has a picture of a hairy fat guy who doesn't look at all like Phil McGraw, believe it. Accept no substitutes -- for either of us!

Dr. Phil
dr_phil_physics: (lifesavers-winslet)
Arrive At Office, Voicemail Light Is On

Dial voicemail, then access code. First message.

The first (and only message) is from someone who mumbles their first name. Then gives their phone number. "I don't have access to the Internet. But I need the phone number of the real Dr. Phil."

Okay, let's remind you here, Sparky. I AM a real Dr. Phil.

Now, I will concede that there are other Dr. Phils out there, and one other Dr. Phil in particular of whom I believe you are speaking. But there is not a Dr. Phil Club where we have super sekrit meetings and trade phone numbers. I certainly don't have TV Phil's phone number, and anyway, it isn't my business to enable you to contact so-called entertainment/psychology shows.

What is strange is that you claim you don't have access to the Internet. Then how did you get my office phone number at Western Michigan University? I checked -- and area code 306, the one given in the voice mail, is in Saskatchewan CANADA. WTF?

No, really.

What you really need to do is go to your public library and get some help from a reference librarian. At the very least, they'll be able to pull up the Dr. Phil Show FAQ page and discover they don't have a direct phone line to Dr. Phil either.

I swear, someone must be making money given people my office contact information and swearing that I can get them in touch with "the real Dr. Phil".

Sigh.

Dr. Phil

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