Dr. Phil's Dreamwidth Journal

... About TV Commercials

You know those commercials for the Off clip-on thingie for repelling insects? They came out last year or so, at least up here. But I don't know anybody who has actually used one. So I don't know if they work or whether they're so powerful or aromatic that they're worse than just slathering yourself in Cutters or DEET or whatever.



But...

The commercials make it look like those belt mounted personal shield generators they use in Dune. You know, project a hemisphere of shield protection. My problem with this? What if the mosquitoes are armed with knives and move in very slowly, so they can penetrate the shield? What good are those shields gonna do now?

See, this is why you need to be up on your genre literature. Because if you don't understand these SF/F references, why then you might make some terrible consumer choices. Unleash forces you don't want unleashed.

I'm just sayin'.

Dr. Phil

Go Pack Go

It's Monday after the Super Bowl. And I'm wearing a Green Bay Packers World Champions hat that I bought at a Citgo gas station in Crystal Falls MI in the U.P. many years ago when the Packers had also won. Michigan's Upper Peninsula, despite being Michigan, is also physically attached to Wisconsin. So the local loyalties up there tend to favor the Tigers for baseball, but the Packers for football.

The Commercials

Yeah, I know. It's supposed to be about the game. But who knows if the game is even going to be good? For the last two years the economy has hurt the Super Bowl commercials. Better than usual lot this year. But still far too many stupid, juvenile and embarrassingly sexist ads -- also per usual. (sigh) Didn't see all the commercials, especially as I missed the pre-game show. Was there even a Clydesdales commercial? And did FOX mention that the game was on FOX? Which has a bunch of shows they want you to watch?

Everyone, it seemed, was talking about the VW Passat ad with the mini Darth Vader kid. Cute. I actually liked the beetle in the New 21st Century Beetle ad. The Chevy Silverado pickup truck in the Lassie role was pretty amusing. "I didn't even know this town had a volcano."

A lot of movie trailer ads this year. A lot. And why all the animated movies being advertised after 9:30pm in the 4th quarter? Who's the demographic? Half the trailers were ones I'd seen before, either in theatres or on TV. However, was intrigued by the Steven Spielberg/J.J. Abrams Super 8 trailer, as well as finally getting to see the Cowboys and Aliens trailer. (grin)

The surprise class act in commercials for the night, though, was the two-minute Chrysler 200 ad -- a love letter for Detroit narrated by Eminem. The tagline at the end, "Imported from Detroit", was a nice touch.

One Bright Spot

I timed my afternoon nap to end around kick-off. I was thankfully absent for Christina Aguilera's butchering of the national anthem. You know, I don't want to get maudlin about it, but I think the Cubs do it right -- many of their home games are sung a cappella by Wrigley Field announcer Wayne Messmer and sometimes with his wife Kathleen. Simple, basic, powerful, respectful.

Tron Takes Over At Halftime

Once again they spend millions to have a lavish halftime show, one without marching bands I might add, and then fail to get the mikes to work properly or balance the sound.

So Why The WMU Logo?

In case you were wondering why this particular LJ icon selection, it is in honor of Green Bay Packers wide receiver Greg Jennings -- a former Kalamazoo Central High School and Western Michigan University graduate -- who scored two touchdowns in the Super Bowl. Go Broncos?

Oh, The Game?

31-25, Packers defeat the Steelers.

Dr. Phil

So There We Were, Watching A Movie...

It's summer, which means not a lot on television. Actually, I swear in the summer that half our TV watching is Food Network shows. (grin) However, we noticed that AMC was showing Nanny McPhee from 8 to 10:15 tonight. I'd seen part of this one on cable some time ago, and with the sequel coming out, we'd commented that we'd not both seen it all the way through -- and with Emma Thompson, Colin Firth, Kelly Macdonald, et al, it was worth a try.

SHOUT MUCH?!!!!!

First of all, we had to turn the volume way up for the movie. And then stab at the remote to hit the MUTE button when the commercials BLARED. Come on, guys, that is so bush league. American Movie Classics used to be classy, respectable. But there was far worse to come.

Um, Just What ARE You Advertising?

Then there were these strange ads for something called the Life Coach. Rude, obnoxious and repeated ads endlessly every break -- and then they air a four-minute episode of said Life Coach in the middle of Nanny McPhee? We had the MUTE button pressed down through the covers of the damned remotes, but Seriously. Seriously?

Am I missing the fact that it's summer and the kids might still be up and AMC is showing a children's movie -- and you're putting on all these adult show ads for Mad Men, Rubicon and a four-minute episode of Life Coach? AMC, I think you need to turn in your children's programming card.

Alternately, we came up with a theory that this broadcast of Nanny MacPhee was actually FOR adults, as their pre-lab to Nanny McPhee Returns which is opening this Friday, I guess. Though you can't actually tell because for some reason, AMC's commercials did NOT include any ads for the sequel. Wait, you didn't land the cash cow advertising and instead showed captive ads for all your own shows? AMC? I think you need to fire your advertising sales department.

As For The Movie...

It's rather over the top, in the way that no doubt is made to be attractive to today's brain addled sensory overloaded children, for whom Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music is too boring without some of Harry Potter's joke shop antics and a food fight. Colin Firth's second marriage proposal was better in the original Portuguese in Love, Actually, which also featured Emma Thompson and the lead young boy.

Glad to have seen it all the way through, and I do like Kelly Macdonald, though she doesn't have all that much of a part. Might have to watch Gosford Park again to restore some dignity to my perceptions of English country life. (grin)

Dr. Phil

NOTE: Fixed some typos...

I Never Thought I'd Write About This A Third Time

But that damned Erica's friends buy her the Toyota Corolla of her dreams commercial really annoys me. And one commenter says that the Facebook site shows "out takes" including Erica delivering cupcakes -- unwrapped cupcakes -- from the basket of her bicycle. Oh yeah, she's a professional baker, er, pastry chef.

I Really Was Going To Let This Alone

But I had a thought the other night that made me question the motivations of Toyota and their ad agency. Previously I'd mocked them for thinking that just everyone has a bunch o' friends who can fork over three thousand each and buy you that new car you want. And that I thought this terribly out of touch with reality for most people. People buying you new cars, they're probably not buying you a Corolla anyway, at least according to the Lexus and Mercedes Christmas ads. (grin)

So here's the thing -- Erica isn't after the car she needs for her business, since we've already established that she could probably have saved something to get a useable used ride to delivery her confections. No, she's after the car she wants. Yes, that brand new Toyota Corolla she can't afford right now is what she wants, not needs.

But... Pause to sprinkle special fairy dust on our special snowflake... oh look! Here come your special snowflake friends to give you what you want. Now here's where maybe I was wrong and this is where it gets insidious and devious. What if they want you to think that because she just got what she wanted, now you are entitled to get what you wanted, too? You're entitled! Just sign here on the dotted line, because you don't need to cough up the money to pay for something you want -- at least not at the start. Because we're hurting here and not selling enough cars, so you gotta do your part to help us.

Magical Financial Thinking

We have a current financial meltdown we're riding out that has been brought about because financial institutions had been trying to get people to buy the crap out of stuff they want, not what they need or can afford. Guess what? That didn't work.

Recently I was poking around Amazon looking at the current crop of Nikon FX sensor digital SLRs. Having grown up with Nikon 35mm SLRs, I'd like to have some modern digital full-frame equivalent cameras and because I haven't bought any Nikons in a long time, I wanted to see what the current offerings (and prices) were up to. I'd like them. I want them. I don't need them. That's why I haven't spent the couple of thousand dollars on those, and instead am making do with a decent little Sony digital camera with a far more than decent Carl Zeiss lens.

Still, that hasn't stopped me from getting an email from Amazon pointing out that I could buy the Nikon FX sensor digital SLR of my dreams on credit through them. As opposed to buying it on credit with my credit card. Or waiting until I can afford it. (grin) You know, if I was a professional photographer, I'd consider getting a business loan or even a consumer loan to finance the cameras and lenses, if I thought I was going to make enough money. But this would be for me -- so... No.

We've Been Doing This To Ourselves For A Long Time

People forget about this, but way back in the mid-70s we started seeing these big three lens projection wide screen televisions. And they sold some to bars and other public venues -- one was installed in the student union at Northwestern -- but after a while that market was saturated. And yet newer units were coming out, as well as the ability to make much larger picture tubes. 36" and 44" picture tube color TVs were unheard of before this. Anyway, in trying to figure out how to market and sell these as consumer items, the electronics industry went to the banking industry -- and the concept of the home improvement loan was expanded into the home equity loan and home equity line of credit.

Can't afford that giant 60" big screen TV? No problem, pay for it through your home mortgage and it hardly costs anything a month... for a lot of months. Pretty soon we had people buying big TVs, Hawaiian vacations and even cars, and paying for them over 10-30 years. A car on a 30-year mortgage? Really? Car loans were still 36-48 months then, not 60 or more months. And cars had to get a lot more reliable to justify paying for them over five or more years. So unless you're buying a Rolls or some really well-built solid car that can last multiple decades, this doesn't make sense. You'll be on your third or fourth car before you've paid off the first one.

And people did this. You could even argue that a home theatre was actually a home improvement and not just a big fancy TV. And at least this form of magical financial thinking had consumer products and income to back up the payments, something that the absurd mortgages of late didn't have.

So I'm Worried

Is the Erica Toyota ad a new invitation for people to forget the economic times and just satisfy their lust for a new car? Maybe. At least, at the risk of it being a mean and cynical ploy, it makes more sense than an ad agency and a car company thinking that a bunch of friends can just pony up and buy someone with a marginal business, and not a lot of signs they have a good business plan, a new car. One is trying to instill a new round of magical financial thinking, the other is just fantasy.

In my humble old jaded and cynical view. (evil grin)

Dr. Phil

We've All Been There, Right? Right???

So there's this new Toyota ad running on TV which really annoys me. It's about "Erica", the woman who has the new pastry business. Seems that she bakes in her apartment kitchen -- first thought, has this kitchen been licensed? -- and has to use mass transit to carry her cakes to the customer. She needs a new Toyota Corolla -- I guess there's no point in buying a much cheaper used one (see comments in the next section) if she really needs a car for her BUSINESS.

Anyway, her friends feel her pain and so they get together and buy her a NEW Toyota Corolla.

What? (sound of needle scratching across record player) Huh? You mean a group of maybe six people have split the cost of a fucking NEW CAR and gave it to Erica? WTF? From US News & World Report:

2010 Toyota Corolla
Based on analysis of 28 Corolla reviews and test drives.
Avg. Paid:         $15,060 - $19,511
MSRP:              $15,450 - $20,150
Invoice:           $14,445 - $18,437

If it really was six people, they'd be ponying up $3000 EACH. Who the hell has a bunch of friends in the city who will drop three grand on you for a lark? THIS is supposed to be a feel good moment of common experience for past, present and future Toyota owners?

This is INSANE.

Toyota Corolla - What the Auto Press Says

The 2010 Toyota Corolla ranks 19 out of 30 Affordable Small Cars. This ranking is based on our analysis of 28 published reviews and test drives of the Toyota Corolla, and our analysis of reliability and safety data.

The Corolla is still a great option for those who want dependability, comfort and value. But it doesn't have the versatility, style or power of the top-scoring cars in the class.

Undeniably, the 2010 Toyota Corolla is a comfortable and fuel-efficient option. But in a large and competitive class or sporty and funky compacts and hatchbacks, the Corolla doesn't have much to set it apart. Nor is it the cheapest. And, with the recent recalls, the Corolla's reputation for reliability is slipping. However, there is one bright spot: the Corolla is a 2010 Insurance Institute for Highway Safety Top Safety Pick.

Okay, so Toyota isn't going to quote US News & World Report in their ads. But this chummy media savvy approach? Not working for me.

Erica needed a reliable 2010 Corolla to grow her pastry business. She got the surprise of her life. Every Toyota has a story. Share yours at... (Toyota's Facebook page)

By The Way

This ad seems to have replaced the stupid Toyota ad which touts how they've been spending all this money per day now to make great safe and reliable cars. To me, the subtext of this message isn't "Oh we're so sorry that we betrayed your trust while we were ramping up our market share to make more money" but rather "You were all such idiots to have trusted us before, but now you have to believe that we have your best interests at heart so you should junk your old Toyota clunker before you get hurt and spend a lot more money with us and get a new one... before the recalls start."

Cynical? Sure.

Now lest you think that I just have it in for Toyota, being an admitted GM/Chevy owner, I recently railed about the Chevy/Chevrolet debacle at GM, and I thought the GM "Look At Us We Repaid The Loan From The Government" ad was disingenuous and slimy, as most Americans immediately thought of the REST of the bailout money which far outweighed the emergency loan necessitated because the banking industry lost their collective minds -- conspiracy types assumed the bailout money was used to repay the load...

So I hate all the stupid ads. (evil grin) The Stupid -- it hurts.

Dr. Phil

Don't Take My Chevy Away

NPR reported on Thursday that GM had sent a memo out that henceforth employees not only should not use the name "Chevy" for "Chevrolet", but that offices should fine the employees a quarter (US25¢) every time they say "Chevy". General Motors, are you nuts?

There was a clarification update from GM that this only applies to GM employees, not civilians, but that's hardly the point. This has got to be another example of Middle Management Run Amuck, as someone or someones in the organization tries to justify their existence and idiots above them somehow think that This Should Be A Good Idea.

IDIOTS! Don't they realize that having a well establish nickname, one that you've used for YEARS in your own damn advertising (Chevy Tough / Chevy Trucks / etc.), is marketing gold? Other companies would kill for having a good nickname. VW and VW Bug -- gold. Toyota = Toy car? Yugo = You Go Nowhere? Not so much.

I grew up in a GM owning family. I don't really remember the 1956 car, but we had Chevy cars forever: 1960 Bel-Air, 1964 / 1968 / 1972 Malibu Chevelle. We didn't get a new Chevy in 1976 because my folks were starting to pay for Northwestern, but they bought one of the first Cavaliers and have had Chevy Cavaliers ever since. My first vehicle was a 1979 Chevy Suburban, followed by a used 1982 Cavalier wagon when we started needing two vehicles, a new 1989 Chevy S-10 Blazer (2WD), then used 1985 / 1994 / 1996 Chevy S-10 Blazers (4WD). Indeed, our first non-Chevy was the used 1999 Olds Bravada -- and not only was it a GM product, but hell, GM threw away the Oldsmobile label which had its own successful nickname, Olds.

It's all about branding. Sure. But a killer nickname? You can't buy good will like that. And to try to ruin it by banning it in the corporatespeak? GM, you're being idiots. And the publicity you're going to get out of it? Not one bit of it will be about professionalism or competence. Period.

Don't Bother Calling Back

One problem of being home during Sabbatical 1.21 is that I get the joy of receiving more stupid phone calls.

Ring-Ring

ME: Hello?

IDIOT: Is this Phil?

ME: Who's calling?

IDIOT: (long pause) This-is-(garbled)-from-the-Police-Benevolent-Society-returning-your-call...

ME: We don't do anything over the phone. (click)

I suppose that telephone spammers and scammers give themselves high fives whenever they come up with or steal a great new idea to con people into actually talking with them. "Returning your call"? Yeah, right. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't like cold calling people, so it is HIGHLY unlikely that I'd be calling anyone, including a charitable organization, when I can contact them online or by mail. And I hate giving out contact information, so the very likelihood that you would be returning my call, which presupposes that I made a call first, is pretty much close to zero point zero. We. Don't. Do. Any. Crap. Over. The. Phone.

Pth-hhhhbt! It pisses me off that the politicians included exemptions for (a) charities and (b) THEMSELVES when they put together the Do Not Call List legislation. No points for creativity and ESPECIALLY no points for launching into a rapid fire mutterance which doesn't properly identify you, your organization (WHICH Police Benevolent Society? There are so many jurisdictions here, even assuming you aren't just a scummy scammer.) and trying to slip that little lie in about returning my call.

From Russia, With Love

While I'm bitching about phone spam, I should note that after several months of freedom after LiveJournal beefed up things on their end a bit, I've had several attempts to spam this LJ in the last week. Two were Anonymous and one had an LJ userid -- all were in Cyrillic and all could be translated from Russian to English by Google. What really pisses me off are the ones which try to add spam comments to my LJ postings with my stories in them.

It was because of these bastards I had to implement screening Anonymous comments the other year, though I still allow them. And sometimes you'll see some comment spam from someone with an LJ userid before I find out about it. My apologies for their bad behavior.

A Respite

Finally, just to take away the bad taste from above, jimhines posted this link about:

...this functional LEGO sniper rifle, built by Jack Streat. I’d probably want to double the rubber bands to get better range, but still — this thing has a working clip, tripod, and scope, and appears to be pretty darn accurate for a LEGO rifle.

I was amused to see that when loading the LEGO "bullets" into the magazine, you alternate which way they go so that the nubs don't lock together like LEGOs. (grin) Is there anything you CAN'T build with LEGOs?

Dr. Phil

The Artificial World

We often talk, with books and movies, about requiring a "willing suspension of disbelief." Without it, the story fails and we are left floundering.

With advertising, I suppose one could say there's something similar. Or at least a requirement that we are "willing to go along with the ridiculous logic of the ad world." (grin) Having said that, though, an ad can fail when the ad breaks its own logic, especially at the end. It leaves a bad taste in the mouth, a betrayal. As far as the ad agency is concerned, my thoughts always drift to "what were you thinking?" Even ad logic has to have its own rules.

This isn't so much a rant against a TV ad, as a nag. This ad annoyed me when it first came out -- and lately it's been recycled and shown again. A lot. I'm not sure if the corporation is being cheap or devoting itself to laying off more people on Madison Avenue by not buying new ads. It's not as if the corporation can't afford it.

The McDonald's Dollar Menu

In this commercial, this Guy goes around trying to find what he can buy with a single one dollar bill. Of course, in suitable ad world logic we aren't going to worry about silly little things like sales taxes (where applicable), because we're dealing with one lonely sacred dollar bill -- and not change in the pocket or under the sofa cushions.

Of course, Guy's attempts to spend his dollar are fruitless. At the travel agency, the agent gives him a little stick-on palm tree gratis -- "it's yours." The taxicab driver merely tells Guy to "get out." However, at your local neighborhood friendly McDonald's, he is told that a dollar can buy one of several great and satisfying tastes, such as a McDouble double cheeseburger, or a chicken sandwich or small fries or small drink. That's all fine.

But... we end seeing Guy enjoying a whole McDonald's meal. Possibly the McDouble sandwich and fries and drink. Wait a cotton picking second here! That would be three dollars spent (plus sales taxes where applicable), not one dollar.

And that annoys me. Because if we were spending three dollars, we probably still couldn't get anywhere with the travel agent, but you might get somewhere in some city in a cab. And there'd be a choice of three dollar meals and Happy Meals, etc. to choose from.

But not one dollar.

Not The End Of The World

Sorry if you hoping for a great scandal driven rant here, but like I said -- this one nags at me. So I'm nagging back. Doesn't make me really feel any better, but the next time the commercial comes on I'll be able to say "Ri-iiight" or "Up yours" and maybe I will feel a little snug.

Or maybe he traded in that valuable free stick-on palm tree. You think it's worth two dollars?

Dr. Phil